Inspiration & Insights

Enjoy these songs about evolving, growing, and elevating your life!

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xo,

Sarah

By: Charlie Baron

One of the earliest signs of spring is weeds popping up around yards, sidewalks, edges of parking lots, anywhere there is disturbed soil. While weeds can be an issue (like when Japanese knotweed crowds out native plants), they also bring a nice pop of color early in the season, and many of them are actually edible! 

Today we’re going to talk about pesto, which is an amazing way to use any edible weeds you find. Eating the weeds is a great idea for many reasons:

• It’s eco-friendly– no shipping, no plastic packaging, and no need to drive, just pick what’s near you.
• Edible weeds are usually highly nutritious.
• If you eat the weeds instead of throwing them into a compost heap, you will reduce their spread. Picking young and tender greens will give you good flavor and prevent them from going to seed.
• It’s one of the easiest and freshest ways to get your greens– it’ll save you money, and if you make pesto right after picking them, they’re fresher than any veggies from the grocery store.

Of course, there are things to be cautious of. Don’t eat weeds from yards that are sprayed with pesticides or herbicides. In Pittsburgh, lead in the soil is definitely a common issue, so if you want to forage from your yard, it’s a good idea to get your soil tested first. Click here for information about soil lead testing from the city of Pittsburgh, and here for resources for soil testing.

Here are some weeds that grow in the Pittsburgh area that you can use in pesto:

• Bittercress: 
• These greens in the mustard family pop up in very early spring, and have tons of vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, beta-carotene, and antioxidants. They first grow as a basal rosette, meaning the leaves grow close to the ground in a round pattern, and then they send up flower stalks with little white flowers. The small green leaves have tiny hairs on the upper and lower surfaces of the leaves. When these go to seed, their seed pods will pop and spread, so you can pull the plant up from the root to prevent it spreading. The leaves have a mild peppery flavor. There are a few different species of bittercress, but they are all pretty similar and edible.

• Ground ivy:
• Also known as “creeping charlie” or “gill over the ground,” ground ivy is a rich source of vitamin C, potassium, and iron. It usually grows as a mass of ground cover, and has scalloped fan- or kidney-shaped leaves which sometimes turn purple towards their edges. When they flower, they have purple flowers that look much like other mint family flowers. Like other mint family plants, it has square stems and opposite leaves. It has a mild but aromatic flavor.
• Purple deadnettle:
• Purple deadnettles are identifiable by their purple flowers and purple leaves towards the top of the plant. Like ground ivy, they are in the mint family, so they have square stems and opposite leaves. Don’t worry about “nettle” in the name– unlike stinging nettle, they do not have stinging spines. If you’d like to keep them in your foraging area, you can just trim the tops of the plants, and they will keep growing back. The plants will be tastier if they have not flowered yet. There is also a similar-looking plant called henbit which is edible and nutritious as well, and fine to use in your pesto.

• Dandelion:
• Dandelion is completely edible, flower, leaves, roots, and all! Early in the spring, just leaves will appear, and they will have a milder flavor and more tender texture before their flower stalks appear. To help you correctly identify dandelions before they flower, remember that their leaves are smooth (as opposed to hairy, like cat’s ear leaves are) and they have pointed lobes that point back towards the center of the plant. Dandelion leaves are bitter, but many people find them quite tasty. Plus their bitterness helps stimulate your digestive system and support your liver. They are also high in vitamin K and potassium, as well as other vitamins and minerals.

• Garlic mustard:
• Garlic mustard is another plant in the mustard family, and as its name suggests, it has a funky, garlicky flavor. They become bitter once they flower, so it’s best to pick them before the flowers appear. Because garlic mustard is invasive and spreads wildly, it is a great one to pick freely and use in pesto. First year garlic mustard plants are low-growing rosettes with rounded, kidney-shaped leaves, scalloped on the edges. The leaves are smooth (unlike some lookalike species with hairy leaves). Upper leaves on mature plants are more triangular and coarsely toothed. Plants often smell like garlic, especially when leaves are crushed. The leaves are rich in vitamins A, B, C, and E.
• Wild garlic:
• Wild alliums are common, and like garlic mustard, will help add garlicky flavor to your pesto. We recommend harvesting the common wild garlic which you can find in yard, fields, and by sidewalks. They grow in clumps, looking almost like a tall grass, but when you get closer, you will realize that the mature stems are hollow, and when crushed, it smells distinctly like garlic. When they get older, the stems start to curl. If you have some of these in your yard, you can use the tops, bulbs, or both, and swap out some or all of the garlic bulbs in your recipe.
• One of the most famous wild alliums are ramps, which are overharvested, and at risk of becoming endangered if people continue to harvest at high rates. Even when people do choose to harvest from abundant populations, they should only pick a leaf or two per plant, being sure to always leave at least 2-3 leaves on the plant, and not pulling up the root. 
• Chickweed:
• Chickweed is a small plant, but it often grows in big patches. Its leaves are opposite, smooth, and entire (meaning they have a smooth leaf edge, not toothed edges). Their flowers are small, white, and star-shaped with 5 petals. Chickweed is a favorite amongst herbalists because it can be eaten or used externally (at Una Biologicals, we use it in our Wound Wonder, Baby Balm, and Tattoo Salve). If you eat them, you’ll benefit from its many nutrients: vitamins A, D, C, calcium, potassium, phosphorus, zinc, manganese, sodium, copper, iron and silica!

When foraging, always pay attention to detail and confirm your identification! Use a reputable website or book, and confirm your ID with a couple sources.

If you don’t have an abundant supply of any one plant, no problem! Grab a mixture of whatever you can find, and mix with any other herbs or greens you have on hand. For our base recipe, you need 3 cups of any sort of greens.

RECIPE

• 2-3 garlic cloves
• If you forage some wild alliums, you can reduce or replace the garlic cloves
• ½ cup nuts or seeds
• Hemp seeds, pine nuts, walnuts, pistachios, sunflower seeds, almonds, or a blend
• If desired, lightly toast before adding.
• 3 packed cups of fresh herbs and/or greens
• Use any combination of these or others: Basil, parsley, dill, fennel, marjoram, mint, thyme, oregano, edible weeds, vegetable greens (arugula, spinach, radish tops, carrot tops, kale)
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• Start with the juice of half a lemon and add to taste
• Salt and pepper to taste
• You can start with ¼ teaspoon of each and add more to taste
• ¼ cup grated parmesan, romano, or nutritional yeast
• If using nutritional yeast, start with ⅛ cup (2 tablespoons), and increase to taste
• ½ cup extra virgin olive oil

1. Place garlic in the food processor; pulse until finely chopped.
2. Add the nuts, greens, salt, and pepper; pulse until nuts and greens are finely chopped. 
3. Now, turn your food processor on to continuously blend, and slowly pour the olive oil in, until the mixture is well-combined. Stop once it is combined if you like a thicker textured pesto, or blend longer if you want it smooth.
4. Finally, add parmesan and pulse 2 or 3 times.
5. Now use your pesto on pasta, sandwiches, stirred into soups, or to coat your fish or chicken!

Tips for preserving pesto:

https://www.allrecipes.com/article/how-to-freeze-pesto/

https://www.theyummylife.com/How_to_make_Pesto

Written by: Charlie Baron

By: Charlie Baron

While spring blooms are one of the best parts of spring, the allergies they bring are one of the worst. Runny nose, itchy eyes, and sneezing can make us feel crummy just when we want to play outside more.

Allergies are caused by our immune systems overreacting to pollen. Our bodies release antibodies to attack the “invader” pollens, and histamines release into our blood. Over-the-counter medications for allergies are typically antihistamines (which lower histamines in the body), decongestants (which relieve congestion and swelling), and steroid nasal sprays (which reduce inflammation but have negative side effects, especially with prolonged use). 

If you’re looking for a more natural way to manage allergies, read on for more information about herbs for allergies. Herbs can help with allergy symptoms, but they are gentler and slower-acting than over-the-counter medications, so be patient. If you can start taking your allergy herbs before your allergy season gets into full swing, you may have more success knocking back your symptoms.

While some herbal remedies for allergies work similarly to medications, they also have other approaches that medications don’t. For example, there are immunomodulating herbs, which help regulate the immune response to be supportive instead of over-reactive. Herbs are also typically free of side effects. If someone does have an unwanted side effect from an herb, adding another herb to balance it will sometimes fix the issue. For example, if one herb is overly drying, leaving you with dried out mucus membranes or constipation, adding marshmallow or licorice root to a blend will help moisten it and offset the dryness. That being said, if an herb really doesn’t agree with you, stop taking it and try something else.

Finally, this post is a great starting place, but if you have questions or need a custom formula made for your specific needs, it’s always a good idea to see a clinical herbalist.

Stinging nettle

• Nettle is one of the most popular herbs for allergies, and for good reason. Not only is it a nutritional powerhouse, containing antioxidant compounds, minerals, and vitamin C, but it also has natural anti-inflammatory properties, and can block histamine receptors, as well as preventing immune cells from releasing chemicals that trigger allergy symptoms. You may get some benefit from dried nettles, but the most effective way to take nettles for allergies is to consume them fresh or freeze dried (which you can buy as capsules). If using them fresh, make sure to cook them to deactivate their stingers. Freeze dried nettle supplements will give you the anti-allergy benefits of nettles in a convenient pill. 

Goldenrod

• Goldenrod often gets blamed for autumn allergies, but goldenrod isn’t actually the culprit. The allergy-triggering plant is usually ragweed, which has tiny pollen that gets dispersed by the wind, meaning it easily gets into our respiratory system. Goldenrod is insect-pollinated, so it has heavier pollens which aren’t flying around in the air, they’re being picked up by insects. While goldenrod’s showy flowers seem to give the impression that they cause allergies, goldenrod is actually a great allergy remedy. It is highly antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and antihistamine. It is a great decongestant, meaning it will dry out mucus-y, dripping sinuses. 

Mullein

• A traditional lung herb, mullein is soothing to the respiratory system, so it’s a good choice for people who have an allergic cough or other respiratory symptoms. Mullein contains tannins (also found in tea and red wine), which tighten up tissue. This can be helpful during allergy season to strengthen the barrier of your mucus membranes against the pollen-filled air. At the same time, mullein contains mucilage (a type of carbohydrate with a moistening effect), which contributes to its soothing action on irritated respiratory tracts. Mullein can make you cough, but sometimes that is helpful for moving stuck mucus and getting it out of your system. To round out mullein’s usefulness against allergies, it contains antioxidant and antiinflammatory bioflavonoids, which will help support an irritated and reactive immune system.

Lobelia

• Lobelia is a bronchodilator, meaning it opens up the airways and relaxes the muscles of the lungs, making breathing easier if your allergies include a lot of coughing and lung congestion. Lobelia can make people nauseous, so this is one to use under the supervision of a trained herbalist, or just a few drops of tincture at a time to test how your body responds to it. If you are making a tincture formula for allergies, you could include a bit of lobelia with other helpful herbs, but make sure that each dose of the tincture will stay below the level of lobelia that you can tolerate. Cigarette smokers especially need to be cautious with this plant. Because lobelia opens up the lungs, it can make your body absorb more tar and chemicals from cigarettes. Lobelia also contains an alkaloid that is similar to nicotine, and can make you feel sick if you smoke a cigarette. So smokers should probably skip this plant unless they are under the supervision of a professional herbalist.

Tulsi (Holy basil)

• Tulsi, also known as holy basil, has natural antihistamine effects and can prevent mast cell degranulation, which is one of the causes of acute allergic reactions. Tulsi has multiple anti-inflammatory mechanisms, plus amazing effects for the whole system, including stress management. It’s also one of the most delicious herbs in this list, so it could be blended in a tea with some local honey and other herbs for a tasty, allergy-relieving beverage.

Horseradish

• While horseradish (or wasabi, which is in the same family) is not a long-term solution to allergies, it is one of the herbs that will have immediate effects. Horseradish is spicy and moving, and can make your nose run, clearing out stuck congestion. The feeling of relief if you haven’t breathed through your nose in days could be worth the burn!

Reishi

• Reishi is a medicinal mushroom that helps modulate immune reactions, among its other supportive benefits. Reishi also has anti-inflammatory and antihistamine properties, like many of the other herbs in this list. I love to make an herbal coffee substitute from Dandy Blend (a powdered dandelion root product) and reishi mushroom powder. Not only is it a caffeine-free way to satisfy a craving for a warm, bitter, rich tasting drink, but it is also a great way to get some anti-allergenic compounds and support your liver’s clearance, as both dandelion and reishi benefit the liver as well.

Ginger

• Ginger is a natural anti-inflammatory, and is also spicy and moving, which can help clear congestion. One study found that 500mg of ginger taken daily for 6 weeks was as effective as loratadine (a common antihistamine medication) in improving allergic nasal symptoms and quality of life. Researchers found that ginger tended to have lighter side effects (such as burping), as opposed to drowsiness, fatigue, dizziness, and constipation that can occur from loratadine. Cook with ginger or add it to your tea throughout the spring season.

Vitamin C

• While vitamin C isn’t an herb, it’s a common vitamin found in many edible and medicinal plants, and it can be very supportive for combating allergy symptoms. To get a clear allergy-reducing effect, you can take high doses of vitamin C (around 3 grams, or 3,000mg, per day). But eating vitamin C in plants and herbs will also support your immune system and the tissue of your mucous membranes, which are usually affected during allergy season. Getting your vitamin C from berries will have an added benefit of the natural antihistamine quercetin. You could also eat citruses, which contain bioflavonoids that support immune function and tissue integrity. Eat your fruits and vegetables throughout the season to give your body the best chance of recovering!

Written By: Charlie Baron

If you liked the intensity we felt in March, you’re going to absolutely L O V E  April. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’ve heard about the April 8th New Moon/Total Solar Eclipse. On top of that, Mercury is going to be in retrograde for most of the month! There’s a powerful conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus on the 20th, too. Hold on to your hats—you’re about to climb aboard a cosmic roller coaster.

Want to see how these phenomena will rock your life? Read on for your sign below.

Remember: if you know what your ascendant is, read for that sign. If you don’t know, read for your birthday sign…or find out what your ascendant is from a professional astrologer. Una happens to have one right here! Judi will be available at Una for Astrology and Tarot readings on April 13th. Secure your space with Judi at Una!

ARIES (March 21-April 20)

You may discover that despite your skeptical friends’ opinions, there really are times when it’s all about YOU. This is one of them. The eclipse in your sign will make you stand out from the crowd. Make sure you’re living in your integrity, so that when the spotlight shines on you, it’s possible to hold your head high. Jupiter and Uranus could bring a sudden cash infusion. Spend it conservatively!

TAURUS (April 21-May 20)

You might surprise yourself when you discover a hidden desire that you’ve been putting on the back burner. Don’t be afraid to live your dreams, even if it means taking a few baby steps out of your comfort zone. A surge of electrical energy will supercharge your efforts to be noticed around the 20th. You need to say what you want if you want to get it.

GEMINI (May 21-July 20)

It might feel like nothing else matters more than the things you do with groups of friends. You could also become a prominent fixture in your community, known and loved for using your natural talent for bringing people together. Look out for a professional glitch around the 10th. A reminder to pay attention to your personal needs could come as a shock later in the month.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Change in the way you are seen in the world is sure to come with this powerful eclipse. Mercury retrograde could resurrect an opportunity you had forgotten about. A promotion, or even a new job, could be part of the package. Expect your friends to give you the congratulations you deserve, and hold tight for a surprise announcement.

LEO (July 23-Aug 22)

A snap decision to broaden your horizons is sure to make positive changes in your life. Take a class…or plan a trip you’ve always dreamed about. Don’t worry about financing your desires. Jupiter and Uranus will bring treasure and recognition your way. Even if it all seems to come out of the blue, the truth is, you are finally being rewarded for a long period of hard work.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22)

The eclipse will add a huge dollop of the magic ingredient that makes all your relationships magical. Any disconnects, distances, or separations that kept you apart will dissolve, as your heart opens to the joys of intimacy. A sudden urge to help someone in need will give you even more ways to spread the love.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22)

One to one relationships of all kinds will rock your world now. Be prepared to make your communication with others more genuine, even if it means you’re not always Ms. or Mr. “Nicey Nice.” After the 20th, expect a highly sensual experience, or a chance to truly express your desire to share your heart in a deep, intimate way.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21)

Change isn’t your favorite thing in life, but you’ll probably be grateful once you see its effects. There’s a big shift coming to the way you handle your day to day life. More attention to the people around you, especially at home, as well as a focus on taking care of your own health, will make for a refreshing, rejuvenating, change of pace.

SAGITTARIUS  (November 22-Dec 21)

Your imagination, your desire for friendship, and your need for plain old fun, will be the highlights to this month’s eclipse. Mercury retrograde could bring back an old friend or flame who really gets your creative juices flowing. Someone you see every day could inspire you to revamp your workout routine.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21-Jan 20)

If you’re planning a move, or even a re-do of one of your rooms, the eclipse will draw your attention to the importance of having a solid home base. Family could play a part in giving you tips, extending a loan, or simply giving you the support that you need. A fun friend could surprise you with how much laughter can do for you life.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 20)

Communication will be huge in your life this month. The eclipse will bring news of some kind, and could inspire you to say what’s on your mind to someone who needs to hear it. With your sense of knowing what’s right and your determination not to let up until you prove your point, the world around you is bound to change for the better.

PISCES (Feb 21-March 20)

Money isn’t always the thing that’s foremost in your mind, but an awakening that comes now could turn out to be for your greater financial good. There could be an influx of money, or an unexpected expense. In either case, the point is, you need to put more effort into managing your assets. A message you receive toward the end of the month will bring the point home.

Enjoy these songs to help clear energy and motivate you to start creating those intentions and living your life of abundance!

Enjoy this 5 min meditation to remind yourself of how worthy you are.

At Una we believe in the power of music.  Music heals, uplifts, energizes, soothes and generally adds to the fabric and quality of life.  Each month we bring you a new playlist connected to our Monthly Self Care Theme.  

Rather than focusing on loving others this February, we are choosing to celebrating loving our Self 💕 Here is a little playlist for Self Love from our team at Una. 

Horoscopes for Una Biologicals February 2024

Are you feeling the shift? Pluto’s encroachment into Aquarius is just getting warmed up, and events around you will prove it this very month. February is Valentine’s time, and it looks extra steamy with Mars and Pluto locked in a kiss on the 14th. Love will definitely rule the day!

Let’s see how these energies will play out with your life. Read on for your sign below.

Remember: if you know what your ascending sign is, read for that one. If you don’t know, read for your birthday sign…or find out what your rising sign is from a professional astrologer. Una happens to have one right here! Judi will be available at Una for Astrology and Tarot readings on February 24th. Sign up soon, because the spots are getting snapped up faster than ever.

ARIES (March 21-April 20)

Your desire to do good deeds will be stimulated now. You could get involved in a new project early in the month when Mercury and Venus follow the new moon into your house of community-mindedness. This might mean you volunteer with friends, or that you simply reunite with a group of people who bring the good times back into your life.

TAURUS (April 21-May 20)

Your hard work will pay off when a parade of planets make their way into your house of status and achievement. People will recognize you as the force of nature that you are. A person in power will be showing you extra love around the 17th, and on the 22nd, you could see your personal power getting pumped up in big ways.

GEMINI (May 21-July 20)

Curiosity is something you got extra shares of when you came to grace our planet with your presence. Satisfy it now with an exploration of some kind. You may elect to take a major trip, or you could enroll in a class that will dish out new information and skills that you can put to work and use to your advantage.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Are you ready to have more fun? It’s about time for you to put more focus on getting together with people who make you smile. You’ll be in for a super-sexy Valentine’s Day. If you’re attached, the fire will burn brightly as you celebrate love in your own special way. If you’re still looking, sparks could fly with an enticing Aquarius type at mid-month, and you’ll dance under the full moon on the 24th.

LEO (July 23-Aug 22)

“Now or never” is the theme of your relationship life now. This applies to best friends, clients, and customers as much as it involves the one you love most. Cherish the moments you spend with significant others, and let this be the time to let yourself shine. The New moon on the 9th encourages you to turn over a new leaf, and the changes you’ll make at that time will attract new people into your life who offer prosperity as well as an abundance of affection.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22)

This month of love is going to teach you just how important it is to turn your attention and affection toward your own health and well being. Both mentally and physically, you will be bolstered the love of friends and a task that either allows you to learn or teach something that holds great meaning for you. With the full moon in your sign on the 24th, you’ll be loving you place in the world.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22)

Fun is the theme this month, and oh, yes…there will be love, too. A sizzling hot Valentine’s date could be in store. But, if you can’t celebrate on the 14th, Venus and Mars will point Cupid’s arrow right at your heart on the 22nd. Reflect on what really matters to you, especially in your relationships. An answer you’ve been awaiting will arrive with the full moon on the 24th.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21)

For you, “Change” isn’t the most favored thing on life’s menu, but you might make an exception now. If there’s something about your life that’s not quite in alignment, take this opportunity to balance things out so you have all the things you want. A stay-at-home Valentine’s celebration could re-ignite a fire, or start some sparks flying, between you and someone delicious.

SAGITTARIUS  (November 22-Dec 21)

The idea of staying locked up in winter hibernation doesn’t appeal to you, and you won’t stand for it this month. The sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars will have you reaching out and bringing people into your circles of friendship and love by mid-month. A neighborhood gathering or a reunion with siblings, real or chosen, will warm you down to the core. The full moon might bring you something to celebrate on the 24th.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21-Jan 20)

The people who accuse you of being overly focused on money might acquire more evidence to support their claims this month. This won’t bother you in the least, as you collect the payments due to you for your hard work and accomplishments. Treat yourself to a semi-extravagant purchase, and schedule full moon fun for the 24th.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 20)

Your secret will be out as your birthday month unfolds. Sure, you spend plenty of time thinking about the welfare of others, but now…it’s all about you! Enjoy the spirit of new moon-inspired beginnings on the 9th. Declare your love with all your heart for Valentine’s Day, and feel the power of Pluto’s transformation as it pushes your vibration level higher all the time.

PISCES (Feb 21-March 20)

Your friends might want to see more of you this month, but it’s important to declare your boundaries and spend some time reflection on what you want, and what’s missing, in your life. You love people so much, at times you lose yourself in trying to please them. Secure a strong sense of who you are and what you want, and you’ll be ready for major romantic shifts when the full moon inspires deep, meaningful relationships on the 24th.

It was my daughter’s fifth birthday, and while she was giddy and jumping around as any 5 year old should, I was a nervous wreck.  I sat motionless on my couch, staring at the clock, waiting for the phone to ring.  When it finally did, I snatched it up quickly, and with a shaking voice, I answered.  It was the call I had been waiting for from my doctor and it was not good news.  I remember the wave of panic that swept my body and the hot tears that filled my eyes as I heard the nurse say “I’m so sorry, it’s cancer.”

The next few weeks were a blur of doctors appointments, more tests, hard conversations with loved ones, and a whole lot of trying to process what was happening.  I was only 36 years old and this wasn’t even a thought on my horizon.  Now, I was fully submerged in survival mode.  

It started like most of these stories do, with a lump.  Growing up with cysts however, I had become used to ignoring them as they would grow, shrink, and grow again.  This time was different.  My gut was screaming at me that something was wrong, and so I listened.  I went to my OBGYN who referred me for an ultrasound which led to a mammogram which ended with a biopsy.  Two days later, I had my results.  It was a whirlwind.  

My Dad had passed away from colon cancer after a long battle and my Mom had survived breast cancer.  To me, they were warriors fighting the fight that no one wants to face.  To me, they were amazing.  And now here I was facing the same battle and I didn’t feel like a warrior and I most certainly didn’t feel amazing.  I was scared beyond any fear I had ever felt before.  I had dreams of standing face to face with death and begging to stay, begging to be able to parent my 2 small children, begging to live out my fairytale love story with my husband.  I would awake in a cold sweat, my breath coming in short and panicked bursts as reality would set in and I would realize it was a dream, yet still a very possible reality.  I operated throughout the day surviving on dark humor and tired platitudes.  I faked strength and pulled smiles from the darkness I was feeling.  It all changed for me at one of my many doctors appointments.  The nurse, who had seen the faces of terrified women day in and day out in her profession, said something so simple to me.  

She said “It’s ok to be scared because this is a scary situation.  It’s ok to cry.”  

No one had ever said that to me before.  I had been brought up to believe that I was too sensitive and needed to be stoic.  I was raised on the saying that “someone always has it worse.”  These things rattled in my head as a constant reminder to be the warrior that I thought everyone was expecting me to be, the warrior I had seen my parents be facing the same thing.

That was all it took.  The simple act of permission.  This permission exists for us to give to ourselves at any time.  Sometimes however, it feels inaccessible, like a locked cubby in your basement covered in dust and shaded in darkness.  You forget about it until you need something from it, and then you pry your way in, blow the dust off, and clutch your treasure close. 

I allowed myself to begin to really feel and be authentic about my situation.  I cried.  I asked people to stop saying the cliched platitudes that made me feel icky.  I told my loved ones exactly how much I loved and appreciated them.  I cried some more.  I said that I was scared…out loud.  I asked the questions that felt silly.  I advocated for myself at the doctors and pushed for the things I wanted and needed.  I was vulnerable when it felt right.  I removed myself from situations I didn’t feel comfortable in.  I still used dark humor because it did (and still does) make me feel better.

There were huge, scary, and wild parts of my story that are much more interesting; but I share this small interaction because it ended up being the biggest turning point in my life.  It made me feel like I could express my fears and emotions.  It led me to begin therapy for the first time in my life.  It led me on a healing journey from so many things I was hurting from.  

I want everyone to feel the freedom of permission.  It’s ok to be scared, uncomfortable, and vulnerable in the face of adversity.  Being a warrior doesn’t mean you aren’t scared.  Being a warrior means you do it anyway through the scared, uncomfortable, and vulnerable.  

My hope is that whether you are in a cancer journey, are a cancer survivor, or have a loved one who is, that you remember that bravery exists in the space of doing it anyways.  You don’t have to be anything for anyone but yourself.  It is not your job to make others comfortable.  It is your job to take care of yourself the best way you can; and to do so, authenticity is key.  So feel, cry, scream into a pillow, go for an angry run, make a playlist that you can sing the lyrics to at the top of your lungs, take up kickboxing; but most importantly, remember that you are absolutely not alone.

“Feel it on the first” is a saying to help you to remember to self-exam each month on the first.  Please find this resource from The National Breast Cancer Foundation Inc. on how to best give yourself an exam.  See your doctor regularly.  Get those mammograms, and when in doubt, speak up.  Your biggest advocate is you. 

Shared with love & hope, Sarah